


Reality Check

by ReynaRuina



Series: Ponytail Dib Au [2]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst, Depression, Dib has a very bad time, Kissing, M/M, Nudity, Psychological Torture, Threats of Violence, also uh, as always, lots of very hards words, slight non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:28:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25319068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReynaRuina/pseuds/ReynaRuina
Summary: Dib's been playing with fire. He's forgetting the danger implicit on it. It's about time something makes him remember.
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Series: Ponytail Dib Au [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1634140
Comments: 21
Kudos: 148





	Reality Check

**Author's Note:**

> MASSIVE WARNING BEFOREHAND: This is part of a long format story told on Tumblr through both writing and artwork, I'm dumping this part in specific here because tagging triggers here is way better and this gets a bit more adult leaning than the rest of the au so far. I highly suggest you check this AU out on reynaruina.tumblr.com/tagged/ponytail-dib-au before proceeding with this read (the fic titled Contact in specific goes right before this one) If anything you've seen on those tags interest you I highly recommend you check this out, it's Absolute Angst and Slow Burn Town.  
> For anyone who just rather read this first anyways, here's the jist of the AU: Dib is about 27, living alone and working shitty jobs, suffering from depression, alcoholism and suicidal thoughts galore. The only thing that still brings him any kind of happiness is to battle Zim for the fate of the Earth. Zim has been in love with Dib for years and has renounced the Tallest after discovering the truth behind his exile, and now wishes to take over Earth with Dib. Except he's aware the only reason Dib has to keep living is to fight with him, so he pretends to still be his enemy and stages battles just to give him something to live for, all while trying to take care of him behind his back. Dib also tends to get very drunk and wander into Zim's house at night, hang out, sleep on his couch, then not remember a thing the next day. Dib is also in love with Zim, but his depression and self image issues prevent him from making a move.That's the TL-DR of this, if you wanna know more (again) check the AU on Tumblr :D

There was something in his throat. He couldn't speak, couldn't move, could only make small, muffled sounds of protest. Whatever was inside his mouth, down his throat, it was wriggly and humid and...hot. _So_ hot.

There was something else on him besides the wriggling thing inside his mouth, and it felt a lot like a pair of lips over his. Just as hot, too, and that's also how he felt the hand, tightly gripping and holding his jaw in place. The _small, three-fingered hand._

No sooner had his thoughts connected the three facts into one coherent idea that he found himself kissing back. He heard a chirp, tiny and happy, and a grumble near his face. His heart threatened to grow wings and tear his ribs asunder in an effort to escape the cage that was his chest.

The intensity only grew now that Dib was aware of who was kissing him, the rounded teeth that scraped gently against his lips making him groan from the bottom of his being. The air around him felt thin and lacking, and his compressed windpipe was making it difficult to breathe, yet not even the fear of death by asphyxiation was able to get Dib to pull away from everything he'd ever wanted in the whole world. Which was now his, somehow, some way, inexplicable and inexorable.

Dib regained the feeling in his arms, suddenly, and he lost no time on wrapping them around the small frame he had expected this mouth and hands to be connected to. They collided with enough force to make the alien huff and their mouths almost dislodge, but Dib made up for it by instantly pressing every inch of Zim's body against his, as if attempting to merge their molecules. And he most likely was.

It was _him_. It was definitely him. His scent in Dib’s nose, his shape under his fingers, the fabric of his clothes all bunched up as Dib tugged and pressed with relentless desperation. He heard Zim gasp a little, for air perhaps, before diving back in with his arms around Dib’s shoulders.

Dib felt the small fingers dig into his hair, tenderly stroking his scalp, and it almost made him cry. He was already shaking, lips trembling under the barrage of kisses that he clumsily returned the best he could. He barely held together enough to return the gesture, but refused to give up, to stop, to even dare give a moment of thought to what was going on and why.

Things slowed down over time, however, the kisses becoming soft and languid, Zim's weight shifting on his lap where he was now comfortably sat. Dib felt his sanity distantly beckon him to stop and analyze the situation, to grasp at what was happening, but he knew better than to heed its call. Twisting his heels, he booked it in the opposite direction, focusing on the feeling of Zim's shape over his. They fit together so well, he felt so good on him, so right...

Eventually, they broke apart. Dib took a long time to open his eyes, a smidge of fear still gripping his heel, trying to pull him down. He still did, anyways, and was welcomed by the most tender eyes and smile he'd ever seen. Zim was stroking his cheek as he looked at him, face slightly blushing, lips still wet and swollen from the kisses. It was the most beautiful thing Dib had ever seen. he felt his own lips start to curve upwards...

There was a quiet scraping of metal, and then, pain.

It was hard to discern at first. The sudden " _thud_ " on his back, making him lunge him slightly forward, and the cold of the metal inside his flesh came first. It was a curious enough feeling to make him look down at himself.

A piece of metal was piercing through his chest cavity. It was difficult to tell, with how soaked in Dib’s blood it was, but it sure looked like one of Zim's PAK legs.

Confusion began to arise, weirdly slow, as Dib reached up to touch the cold, wet metal. He dared move an inch, and the pain flared up like his entire nervous system was on fire. A jolt of panic made him freeze in place, afraid of moving again, afraid the sharp metal would touch something vital even though it probably already was.

He heard a giggle, and his head jolted up. Zim was still smiling, even more so now, lips stretching to their limits as his chest began to rattle with cacophonous laughter pushed out from deep within. It soon erupted from his lips, as unhinged and maniacal as ever, but with a truly triumphant ring to it that Dib had never heard before.

"Z-Zim?" he could barely ask, throat feeling numb as something warm and metallic-tasting seeped into his mouth. He felt the cold steel rod exit his body just as suddenly as it had come, and looked down with terror to see his blood beginning to pour out copiously from the gaping hole left behind.

" _Gullible_ " Zim whispered in a dry, venomous tone, before procuring a giant syringe from his pack and swiftly stabbing Dib in the neck with it.

The last thing the human felt before passing out was his body starting to convulse, and Zim's laughter reverberating inside his bones.

\----

The sting of electricity on his exposed chest brought Dib violently into the waking world. He gasped for air, trying to adjust his eyes to the piercing darkness surrounding him. His body felt heavy, head especially so, and it took him another moment to realize he was hanging belly down, suspended in mid air by his outstretched arms and legs, attached to something cold and hard. He tried to tug, to break free, even if it meant plummeting into a floor he couldn't see beneath him, but merely trying to move made every muscle ache and every fibre of flesh feel like it was being torn apart.

Dib stopped, trying not to let panic overtake him, recognizing quickly the need to assess the situation before attempting anything else. He took deep breaths, as deep as his awkward and strenuous position would allow, and began to think.

First, what he could feel in the moment. It was cold, not incredibly so but enough to notice, and he also felt very exposed. He didn't need to look at himself to know he was naked. Wherever he was being kept, it was silent, only the hum of distant machinery around him. He tried to look, to notice anything around him through the dark; however, other than some big metal lumps encompassing his arms and most likely his legs, keeping him suspended up there, there was nothing else he could see. it was like being hung upside down above a dark, empty void, and it made him anxious from the onset.

Panic returned as he remembered the pain, the metal rod inside his chest, the blood... He looked down at himself to try and find the hole in his chest, but it seemed to be no sign of it.

There was a new sound now, however, distracting him from his thoughts. Something coming his way, a familiar metallic tapping against a floor he couldn't see. It came into view slowly: the long metal legs first, one of them still bloodstained, followed shortly by the shape of...him.

" _Zim_ ," Dib gasped, his voice weak and raspy, a plethora of feelings mixing up inside of him. Zim chuckled, looking at him, before adding another feeling for Dib to deal with. Namely, the feeling of his lips on Dib's once more.

Dib wasn't in a position to protest, back away, reject the advances, or any of the sort. He found himself not wanting to, as well. Despite everything he'd gone through so far, no sooner were Zim's lips on his own that he began to kiss back with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. His head kept screaming at him to stop, to push Zim away, to at least stop enjoying it—but there was nothing, nothing, nothing he could do. His foolish heart, somehow still in one piece, was beating like crazy as Zim landed a hand on it and gently slipped his tongue all the way inside Dib's mouth, chirping throughout.

It was over soon, too soon. Zim pulled away, leaving him wanting and confused. He slowly opened his eyes just to see Zim chuckling at him, with that familiar look he always had when he thought he had bested Dib.

This time, however, Dib agreed with him.

"I always knew you were a pathetic little creature, Dib," Zim began, cleaning his lips with the back of his arm and spitting at the floor. "But I had no idea you could stoop this low." He grinned. "Falling in love with your worst enemy? Really?! You truly are the most pitiful being alive." 

Dib felt as if a poisoned dagger was being thrust into his heart. In truth, he'd been expecting this dagger to be plunged into his heart from the first moment he'd realized his feelings for the alien, and every day since then it had just been a slow, torturous march towards the inevitable.

Zim's ego didn't take good on Dib's quiet contemplation of his own sad existence. Dib felt a punch on the stomach, sudden, painful enough to shake him out of the trance.

"You're not even gonna say anything? Rude little human, is this how you treat the one you love the most?!"

This was all expected. This was all exactly what Dib had expected from the first moment he found these horrid feelings nestled inside him.

Why, then, if he'd been expecting this all along, why did he still feel... betrayed?

"It's all... been a game to you..." It wasn't a question, yet it was, at the same time. And Zim was eager to answer.

"A very fun one, human," he whispered, tilting Dib's forlorn face upwards with too tender of a hand. "You're very entertaining, it turns out. Pretty much the only thing you even mildly succeed at."

Zim's lips were on his yet again, and Dib didn't even bother to resist. Resistance felt not only useless, but simply... unachievable. Not when his own body betrayed him, leaning into the contact as much as his restraints would allow. When his tongue would relent to the invader's right upon contact, accepting the not too gentle scraping of teeth against his lips.

He felt tears roll down his face. Zim's hand was there, right away, to softly clean them off.

"Finally," Zim whispered, once the kiss was broken. "Finally I have you where you belong, Dib-scum. Writhing under my power, defenceless, at my mercy."

Dib knew there was no saving himself. He didn't even think he wanted to keep living after this. He'd been wishing for death for a long time anyway, and if things could get any worse he sure didn't want to see it. But he still...craved answers.

"You could have... could have done this at any point," he breathed out, the weight of gravity pulling down his body in this awkward position making it difficult to speak. "You didn't need to... _why_...the _flirting_...and?"

"I've told you already, it's fun. _It's fun to flirt with you_ , Dib." Zim was smirking, smugly, as he often did, and Dib hated himself for finding that little expression sort of endearing even then. "It's wonderful to see your body and mind so openly accept what your filthy, filthy mouth has been denying for years: Zim's clear superiority over you and all humans. Even now, after I’ve revealed my true feelings to you, you ** _can't_ _stop desiring_** me... That's equal parts wonderful and pathetic."

One of Zim's hands travelled down Dib's chest and stomach, the human trembling like a leaf in the wind. Zim’s voice became soft as he continued.

"I could make such a good little drone out of you, Dib. It wouldn't even take that much work." His hand stopped short of Dib's half-hard erection, watching it twitch as he gently scraped his claws across Dib’s underbelly. "Wouldn't even need to brainwash you, or coerce you much. I've already seen what you're capable of, and what you'll tolerate in exchange for the barest of contact from the mighty Zim."

Dib felt like he was on fire. He could do little more than close his eyes and whine in a broken voice as Zim's hand refused to go any lower. He hated his body. He hated it so much, for trapping him in this situation. He hated Zim, too, for being right. About everything he was saying.

"I could do all that....but I'm not going to," Zim finished, smile slowly vanishing from his face. "Whatever benefit I might get from using you against your own race isn't worth having to give you what you want. **You don't deserve me, Dib**. Not even as a joke. You've _never_ deserved _anything_ in your life, not even _once_."

A sudden, strong punch to his stomach made Dib double over as much as his restraints would allow. His head felt dizzy. Zim's voice sounded... strange. Deeper, somehow.

"You've been a thorn in my side for far too long, Dib. It's been a humiliating experience, having my mission delayed for this long all thanks to the fumblings of a pathetic, lower lifeform like you. And you're not getting _anything_ else from me, _never again_. _ **I rather forget you exist.**_ "

He brought his head to Dib's ear as another punch in the guts made him wince in pain.

"But I'm not letting you forget I exist, and until the day you die you'll know: _you're nothing without me_. You'll never amount to nothing on your own, Dib. _**If you walk out that door right now, it's over.**_ Forever."

Dib frowned again. That wasn't... Zim's voice...was it?

It was still Zim's face, as much as he could tell through the tears in his eyes. But the presence felt... different.

"And from this day on, Dib, there won't be a single moment when you don't regret ever coming to exist. To get in my way like you did for so long. To even dare cast your eyes upon me, to think I would ever feel anything but loathing towards you. I'll make you watch humanity crumble to dust in front of your eyes, and I'll make sure you never forget it's been entirely your doing. For being weak enough, freak enough, to fall for your worst enemy, and thus hand him the world on a silver platter," he chuckled, stroking Dib's face. _**"I can't wait to get started."**_

Zim withdrew his hand, just as a heavy jolt of electricity came through the metal blobs holding Dib’s limbs up, coursing through his body. The pain was blinding, excruciating, and Dib simply couldn't stay conscious any longer.

\---------

Dib awoke, startled, head feeling like it was about to split open. He looked around in a fevered confusion, trying to assess his situation.

He was at Zim's house, lying on his couch, with a blanket over him. Nearby, he could see a plate with something, the large TV and...the door...

Without even thinking, Dib bolted for it. He almost tripped as his leg got tangled with the blanket, crushing the plate under his foot on his way out, but still made it to the front door of Zim's house unscathed. He swung it open and just kept running through the garden, into the cul-de-sac, not stopping even when his legs began to shake and his lungs stung from the effort.

He didn't stop until Zim's house was well out of view, and only then because his lungs felt as if they were being torn to shreds from the inside. He dragged himself behind a bush next to a picket fence and sat on the ground, hugging his legs, trying to remain as quiet as he could while taking in desperate lungfuls of air, his entire body shaking from the sudden effort.

How long would it take for Zim to realize he was gone? Could he hide, somehow? Sooner or later Zim would find him for sure, and he'd drag him back down to...to...

He frowned, trying to organize his thoughts once more. Checked himself for any marks, any wounds, any lingering pain. There was nothing, nothing at all, other than the usual hangover headache and the shortness of breath.

He blinked once, twice. Had it all...had it all been a dream?

\-----------------

"He's not coming back, Master."

Slowly, cautiously, Zim peeked his head from behind the couch. Eyes huge, still a bit startled, he noticed first the door flung open, the sheets on the floor and the plate with breakfast broken.

Zim sighed, getting out of his hiding place and closing the door to his house. He wondered now if this had been his fault, somehow. But he couldn't...help himself. After getting Dib's breakfast he had absolutely thought of just leaving him to wake up on his own, but Dib had seemed so... restless in his sleep. Turning here and there, whining, shivering all over. Zim couldn't just leave him be. And when Dib finally settled a bit, and a nice tent began to appear in his pants...then he _really_ couldn't leave.

It might have been a bad idea to jump onto his lap. Even though Zim had been as careful as possible—measuring every moment at the beginning, making sure Dib wasn't reacting to the weight on his crotch and the slow motion back and forth—Dib still began to stir violently out of nowhere right before waking, giving Zim almost no time to hide.

And the way he had run out...Zim had never seen him so scared before. Had he had a bad dream? Was it somehow Zim's fault? How dead would Zim be if he dared run after, hug him tight, ask what was wrong and try to let him know he was there… He wanted to be there for him, he always would be if Dib needed him.

Zim bit his lips, slowly walking up to the couch and face-planting on it, breathing in the musky human scent. He climbed up, dragging the halfway dirty sheets up and cocooning himself inside.

It was still warm. Zim felt like crying. He hugged the pillow tight, tight.

He only managed to move again hours later, when the alarm for Dib’s lunchtime went off.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna give a huge thanks to Syrupwit on Tumblr for betaing this, and also to Clampshell on Discord for sponsoring this w a nice ko-fi donation. Thanks a lot!!!! <3


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